Some quotes from the programme of Dennis Leary:
Life sucks, get a fucking helmet! Nobody's happy. Happiness comes in small doses: it's a cigarette or a chocolate-chip cookie or a five-second orgasm, that's it! You come, you eat the cookie, you smoke the cigeratte, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work. That's the end of the fucking list.
We live in a country, where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest. Yoko Ono stand right next to him: not one fucking bullet. Explain that to me!
Heavy Metal Fans buying Heavy Metal Records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their head off with shotguns - where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution, it's called natural selection, it's the bottom of the fucking food-chain. I say, we put more messages on the records: Kill the band, kill your parents and then yourself. Make sure you get your whole head in front of the shotgun.
Do we need a two and a half hour movie about the Doors? No we don't, I can sum it up for you in five seconds: "I'm drunk - I'm nobody. I'm drunk - I'm famous. I'm drunk - I'm fucking dead." That's the whole movie and "Big fat dead guy in a bath tub" is the title.
I would never do crack - I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass. Kind of a personal guideline in my life. If you want a reason why I won't do crack, I say: I was born with one, pal, I really don't need another one. If I want a second crack I give you a call, but for right now I'm sticking with the solo crack.
I love NyQuil. Capital N, small y, big fucking Q! On the back of the box it says: "May cause drowsiness" whereas it should say: "Make no fucking plans!"
Cocaine - what a great drug. I would like to do a drug that makes my penis small, makes my nose bleed, makes my heart explode and sucks all of my money out of my bank account. Is that possible please?
I will open my own restaurant with two smoker sections: ultra and regular.